Tiny Dicky

Let us be very clear: Donald J. Trump is a manchild.

His obsession with crowd size continues. He is still very hurt that he lost the popular vote, so much so that he is launching an investigation into nonexistent voter fraud. His investigation will no doubt uncover some dubious infractions that will lead him to crack down and tighten voting regulations. If there were any doubts that Donny boy was a Republican we can put them to rest now. What's more GOP than voter suppression?

I often find myself wondering about the size of Mr. Trump's penis. I'm not a homosexual, although I'd be fine if I were, but it does fascinate me. It must be minuscule. Building towers, groping women, and being obsessed with size always. It screams micropenis. Hollers it from the top of the highest tower. A tower that was built, by the way, to compensate for the tiny penised man standing atop it crowing about it's size. It's incredibly transparent. I think that reporters should ask him about his schlong. I just want one dauntless reporter to stand up during a press conference and say "Mr. President! How big is your dick not?". I want to see his reaction to the question. I want to watch him shrink like a salted slug as he turns red and becomes infuriated by the intrusion. Sure, that reporter might find himself poisoned. I think it'd be worth it though. Grab him by the penis. With tweezers, I suppose.

Trump says "The world is a mess" and insists that it "can't get angrier". I think he'd be surprised by how angry the world could be. Specifically, how angry the United States can be. Cracking down on the American people does not cause them to behave. We are not a group of people that is easily subjugated. I wouldn't be surprised to see Trump products being thrown into Boston harbor before too long. The new Boston T party. A big golden T for Trump, of course. We know he likes his things golden. Curtains, letters, showers... Gold is definitely his thing.

There is no greater threat to our way of life than our current president. He believes that our country, indeed the world, is broken and wants to change everything. He intends to remove regulations for corporations, roll back any and all environmental protections, suppress more voters, stifle the rights of women, steal the rights of LGBTQ folk, invade a US city, ban Muslims from entering the US, expel 11 million people, and start a fucking war with China.

The expulsion of illegal immigrants concerns me. 40% of illegal immigrants fly into our country and overstay. I'm not really sure what the wall is going to do to stop that. Also, a large number of them are European and Asian but no one seems to care about any of the undocumented immigrants that aren't brown. All the while, claiming that it's not racial. Sure it's not, Adolf.

His supporters are forming some sort of strange cult. They are constantly demanding that I swear fealty to their king, Trump.

"Say it with me, "Trump is my president."." is something I've heard multiple times. No doubt shouted at their monitor while wearing white robes with a burning cross in their backyard.

He's not a king. He's an elected official. One I did not vote for. Therefore, he's not my president anymore than Obama was theirs. For eight years they denigrated and disparaged MY president. Now they want me to kneel for theirs? I think fucking not. He will never be my president. He is a disgrace. In four years when we vote him out overwhelmingly I'll be standing on my front lawn giving Trump signs golden showers and waving my American flag while I shoot my guns in the air.

Trump is my Nixon. I think I'll call him "Tiny Dicky".

I'll never bow to Tiny Dicky.

Social Insecurity.

I'm writing this post from a hospital room. No, not mine. Sorry to disappoint you Alt-Right fucks that keep sending me death threats. Here lies a relative. She's in ICU and thus oblivious to the changes that have befallen her world. As she struggles to overcome her injuries, sustained because no one checked the drug interactions before she was given her medicine, she's not worried about her social security. We are, to be sure. She, however, was dead for about ten minutes before they revived her and because of this she isn't quite aware of Trump's plans. Hopefully, her brain damage isn't too severe... or she might leave this hospital a Trump supporter herself.

I envy her slightly. Odd, I know. Why would I be envious of someone that is possibly suffering from anterograde amnesia? Well, if I told her right now that when she left this hospital she would probably not have her social security much longer she might be horrified. She might even cry, wail, and otherwise lament this new calamity that had assailed her. She would then fall asleep, wake up, and have no memory of that grave event. Though she falls asleep in Trumpland she does not wake up in it. That has to be some comfort. I'm sure some reading this can relate to the bliss of such an ignorance. Would you know it, though?

Of course, I'm being dramatic. I don't want tubes sticking out of my throat. I don't want nurses wiping my ass. I would be immensely upset with having to speak to my children in whispers from a hospital bed. The last thing I would want to hear is that when, indeed if, I managed to pull myself up out of my bed, rip the tubes from my trachea and the IV needles from my hands, and walk out of this hospital with my head high, I would then find myself without my sole source of income. Old, lost, sick, and forgotten. This is her reality now. What a slap in the face that this poor woman is fighting for her life and her health while the rug is being pulled from under her by some white men in suits who's only interest is lining their pockets.

But, hey, at least you get your wall, right?

Except you don't.

Even now, Trump is hedging on his promise of wall building. Newt, a man who fits his name more perfectly than if Mitch McConnell were actually called "Turtle", described it as a "campaign device" that Trump would not be putting much time into building or making the Mexicans pay for. The Mexicans who quite clearly stated they aren't paying for our fucking wall. And why would they? Did anyone actually stop to think about how we were going to get another country to pay for a wall that we wanted to build to keep them out? Or did everyone just jump on the "Trump train"?

Toot toot. All aboard the bullshit express. Next stop change.

What a bunch of suckers you all are

Look at your working class heros, LAUGHING AT YOU.