Tiny Dicky

Let us be very clear: Donald J. Trump is a manchild.

His obsession with crowd size continues. He is still very hurt that he lost the popular vote, so much so that he is launching an investigation into nonexistent voter fraud. His investigation will no doubt uncover some dubious infractions that will lead him to crack down and tighten voting regulations. If there were any doubts that Donny boy was a Republican we can put them to rest now. What's more GOP than voter suppression?

I often find myself wondering about the size of Mr. Trump's penis. I'm not a homosexual, although I'd be fine if I were, but it does fascinate me. It must be minuscule. Building towers, groping women, and being obsessed with size always. It screams micropenis. Hollers it from the top of the highest tower. A tower that was built, by the way, to compensate for the tiny penised man standing atop it crowing about it's size. It's incredibly transparent. I think that reporters should ask him about his schlong. I just want one dauntless reporter to stand up during a press conference and say "Mr. President! How big is your dick not?". I want to see his reaction to the question. I want to watch him shrink like a salted slug as he turns red and becomes infuriated by the intrusion. Sure, that reporter might find himself poisoned. I think it'd be worth it though. Grab him by the penis. With tweezers, I suppose.

Trump says "The world is a mess" and insists that it "can't get angrier". I think he'd be surprised by how angry the world could be. Specifically, how angry the United States can be. Cracking down on the American people does not cause them to behave. We are not a group of people that is easily subjugated. I wouldn't be surprised to see Trump products being thrown into Boston harbor before too long. The new Boston T party. A big golden T for Trump, of course. We know he likes his things golden. Curtains, letters, showers... Gold is definitely his thing.

There is no greater threat to our way of life than our current president. He believes that our country, indeed the world, is broken and wants to change everything. He intends to remove regulations for corporations, roll back any and all environmental protections, suppress more voters, stifle the rights of women, steal the rights of LGBTQ folk, invade a US city, ban Muslims from entering the US, expel 11 million people, and start a fucking war with China.

The expulsion of illegal immigrants concerns me. 40% of illegal immigrants fly into our country and overstay. I'm not really sure what the wall is going to do to stop that. Also, a large number of them are European and Asian but no one seems to care about any of the undocumented immigrants that aren't brown. All the while, claiming that it's not racial. Sure it's not, Adolf.

His supporters are forming some sort of strange cult. They are constantly demanding that I swear fealty to their king, Trump.

"Say it with me, "Trump is my president."." is something I've heard multiple times. No doubt shouted at their monitor while wearing white robes with a burning cross in their backyard.

He's not a king. He's an elected official. One I did not vote for. Therefore, he's not my president anymore than Obama was theirs. For eight years they denigrated and disparaged MY president. Now they want me to kneel for theirs? I think fucking not. He will never be my president. He is a disgrace. In four years when we vote him out overwhelmingly I'll be standing on my front lawn giving Trump signs golden showers and waving my American flag while I shoot my guns in the air.

Trump is my Nixon. I think I'll call him "Tiny Dicky".

I'll never bow to Tiny Dicky.