Sunday, March 25, 2018

Why We March?

I spent my Saturday marching through downtown Houston with a bunch of teenagers.

As I stood on the hill in Tranquility Park listening to young adults, and some straight up children, plead with the adults that run this country to keep them safe, I thought about the idiocy of arming teachers. At one point, a fifth grader moved me to tears as he stated, without any doubt in his voice, that he would stand in between his classmates and a gun man if it would save them.

"I've already lived a pretty good life..." said Desmond Floyd, all ten years of him.

These kids have PTSD from going to school. They talk about watching doors and windows, about planning for the worst possible scenario every second that they are at school, about being worried about catching a bullet instead of catching a bus. I do that shit because I'm a combat veteran. They do it because they're American children. This is not normal. This is not right.

And as this young boy spoke, with police snipers overhead, a helo circling, and what seemed like the entire Houston police department surrounding us, I imagined a teacher in an urban combat situation surrounded by kids.

Walk through this with me:

- Scenario 1 - Shooter in hallway. Teacher in classroom. 


50 children in a small classroom. Teacher and shooter exchange fire through the doorway? What's that look like? Messy. A 9mm handgun versus an ak-47/ar-15 in a small space while you're trying to take careful shots and the rifle wielder is just fucking spraying? Good luck.

15 rounds, MAYBE, versus 30 rounds AT LEAST. How many magazines are we giving these teachers? Is the teacher wearing a vest? Is the gun in a holster on the teacher's leg or locked in a drawer or closet? Where are the spare mags?

Likely outcome = Gunman gets extra gun, more children killed in crossfire than if they'd just locked down in place. 

- Scenario 2 - Shooter and teacher in hallway.


How long is a school hallway? The maximum effective range of a 9mm pistol is generally about 50 meters, definitely so in a combat situation with a moving target and non-combatants in between and behind, so it's already useless. The maximum effective range of an AR-15 is about 500 meters POINT target. That means that a skilled shooter can hit you in the eye at 300 meters.

Likely outcome =  Gunman gets extra gun, more children killed in crossfire than if they'd just locked down in place. 

- Scenario 3 - Shooter and teacher in classroom.


Ever wanted to kick a teacher's ass? Ever had a teacher than you absolutely hated and you knew that you'd kick his ass in a fight? Imagine if he had a pistol. Any other measures, metal detectors, resource officers, video surveillance, are all made completely moot.

Likely outcome = You've just armed your gunman. You bought him the gun, loaded it, put it in his classroom, and then prodded him (Where's your assignment, Billy?) into grabbing it. Now he's free to go from classroom to classroom grabbing guns like it's team fucking deathmatch.

- Scenario 4 - Shooter(s), teachers, and resource officer.


Cop shoots teacher. Gunman shoots cop. Gunman now has three guns and the cops are confused who he is while they roam hallways full of running students and armed teachers trying to find someone that looks like either of them with a gun. And if you had multiple shooters on top of that?

Likely outcome = Absolute fucking carnage.

The scenarios just get dumber from there.

Arming teachers is a fucking stupid idea. In Iraq, we didn't let people get within 5 meters of us because hand to hand is a toss up... But, sure, a teacher should be fine. All teachers are bigger and stronger than their students, right?

They needed fucking snipers so a child could speak into a microphone in a park in downtown Houston steps away from Ted Cruz's office and across the street from city hall... But throw a school teacher a gun and the whole school is safe?

Nah.

Fuck the NRA.

- Soos

P.S. - If Killer Mike doesn't get his shit together I'm done with Run The Jewels and they're my favorite group. I will not support someone that supports the NRA. Period.

Out.

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, the whisky sour, and me.

I feel as though I've been robbed.

I've been drinking whisky as long as I've been drinking. It's my jam AND my jelly. And yet, I had never discovered the whisky sour. Lemon juice, whisky, and a spoonful of sugar. That's it. I use simple syrup, because I'm a drunk with a full bar, but still... You could just use, or make, syrup.

So, as long as you have whisky, half a lemon, and a spoonful of sugar, you can always make this drink. It is fucking DELICIOUS and I'm embarrassed that I have only just now discovered this amazing beverage.

So.

Bourbon to taste (Me? 3 shots.).

Lemon to taste (Me? 1 shot.).

Simple syrup (Me? 1/2 a shot.).

Shake 20 seconds.

Garnish with a lemon peel.

Add Perrier/Pellegrino to taste.

I serve mine in a chilled mason jar because I'm half Texan and half pretentious ass douche.

Muah,

And I'm still here. Still lurking. Still reading. Still writing.

- Soos

P.S.

Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself. As I reread my whisky sour induced review of the whisky sour I realize that the title only makes sense if you are me. Which you are not. So. Here is the anecdote that I read that inspired not only this post but the four drinks that preceded it.

https://tohaveandhaveanother.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/the-hemingway-and-fitzgerald-whisky-sour/

- Soos