In-depth Beer Review I: Santo, from the Saint Arnold Brewing Company.

Houston isn't really known for it's beer and  sip after sip of this delicious brew will make you wonder why. Saint Arnold's, who's doors opened here in 1994, labels Santo as a "black Kölsch" - A kind of beer that doesn't actually exist. Or at least didn't, until Santo.

Beer number one - 

Santo has a deceptively light mouthfeel for it's darkness. It pours nicely and with a good thick head that releases it's gorgeous and enticing floral bouquet that teases with hints of fruit and caramel. Far from black in the glass, Schwarzbier is a deep, dark, rich chestnut. A sip brings all of this together with hints of chocolate and notes of toasted bread.

Beer number two - 

Oh man. I already liked you, little buddy, you didn't need to keep getting better! Not that I might, of course.

The caramel and chocolate seem to become increasingly noticeable the more I drink, making me wish for something beefy and cheesy to pair it with, and the beer goes down so smoothly now. Looking at the remaining four beers in the six pack has me wishing I'd gotten a twelve, instead. C'est la vie and on to three.

Beer number six - 

Beer number six, which is apparently more beer than I, a grown ass fucking man, should drink is probably the best one of the bunch. My only criticism? I can still hear her bitching. Never mind it's the fucking weekend, I bought it, and, last I checked, you're not my mom, Cheryl, but I'm trying to work. For fuck's sake, if I'd known that being married really meant getting a new mother I might have thought harder about condoms. Or become a eunuch. I mean, yeah yeah yeah. My dad was an alcoholic. I fucking get it. Maybe it's because his wife sounded like mine.

Yeah, I said it.

The beer, by the way, is good as fuck. Not just with taco bell, either. I've been chasing whisky with it for an hour and it's served me bravely throughout. Now, however, it mostly, it now smells like my shattered dreams and tastes like all the wasted time I've spent arguing with a woman that hates my fucking guts.


Overall rating: 8/10. 

Would drink again. And probably will right now because someone will not shut up. Whatever, at least I bought a comfortable couch.