Trolls, trolled.

I don't usually do "reports from the internet!" type posts because I hate them but this is too funny not to share.

So FunnyOrDie ran this ridiculous, and hilarious, J.K. Rowling story:

Obviously fake. Obviously satire. Besides the fact that no such tweets exist. Besides the fact that this is not how repossession works. Besides the fact that the next article on the same page is this:

(This picture of Obama is fucking hilarious, btw.)


/pol/ has been going absolutely nuts. Some are calling for J.K. Rowling's execution. Some are saying that this is typical of a "Jewess" or the "Jewry". Many of them seem to believe that this story is not only real but also indicative of the predatory nature of the left against the right. It is, in a way. It's a total fabrication made real only by troubled teenage minds. Here are some samples of their deliciously flustered jimbobs.

Maybe the reason that /Pol/ is so heavily pro-Trump really is that they cannot tell fantasy from reality. 

Either way, /Pol/ = BTFO 😆😆😆

Read this, you curious cunt!

Let's talk about the word cunt.

Firstly, let's dispel something right now. The word cunt is NOT automatically misogynistic. The word cunt is not reserved for women. Personally, I rarely use the word when referring to women for that very reason. Can a woman be a cunt? Sure! Anyone can be a cunt. You could be a cunt right now while reading this. Hell, I'm a cunt sometimes.

Wikipedia defines cunt as follows:

Cunt /ˈkʌnt/ is a vulgar word for the vulva or vagina and is also used as a term of disparagement. Reflecting different national usages, cunt is described as "an unpleasant or stupid person" in the Compact Oxford English Dictionary, whereas Merriam-Webster states that it is a "usually disparaging and obscene" term for a woman or an "offensive way to refer to a woman" in the United States.

The key here is “in the United States”. Only Americans restrict the use of this word to women. To me, that's more misogynistic than the use of the word. Are pussies only women? Are dicks only men?

Wikipedia goes on to say:

The Macquarie Dictionary of Australian English gives "a contemptible person". When used with a positive qualifier (good, funny, clever, etc.) in Britain, New Zealand, and Australia, it can convey a positive sense of the object or person referred to.

So, in other English speaking countries the word cunt is not only not exclusive to women but it's also used as a positive sometimes. E.g. - “Nice one, you cheeky cunt!” would not be insulting to an Aussie or a Brit.

I don't know why the United States has decided that cunt is such a horrible word while having absolutely zero issue with the word pussy. I can say pussy all day. I can call men pussies, I can call women pussies, I can call children and animals pussies; No one bats an eye. I call a man a silly cunt and everyone loses their minds. It's ridiculous.

My twitter account was limited earlier for calling Piers Morgan, a British man, a cunt. In his own tongue that's barely offensive. Meanwhile, users call me every slur there is and constantly bombard me with obscene photographs of black people and terrorism victims with impunity. If the word cunt is more offensive to you than the word nigger or a picture of a woman that was torn in half by a truck driven by a terrorist then, guess what?

You're a dumb cunt.

I'm going to continue to use the word cunt liberally. It's a good, strong word with a myriad of uses. It's not just convenient to use but also fun to say! Cunt just rolls off of the tongue.

Giggity.

Thanks for reading and have a fantastic Sunday, you wonderful, wonderful cunts!

And then there's this asshole.

Even as his lackeys were scrambling to cover for him, Trump was hiding in a bathroom somewhere in the White House tweeting away their spin jobs.

"Yeah, I did that shit. So what?"

What Trump and his MAGA cultists fail to understand is that his decision to declassify something on a whim is a threat to our national security. He just put Americans at risk because he wanted to look like a big shot to his Russian handlers.

Our allies will not be willing to share sensitive intelligence with us for fear of our president just blurting it out during dick measuring sessions and compromising assets. Compromising assets, by the way, means getting motherfuckers killed because you gave them away during an operation.

This lack of communication will hinder our intelligence community's ability to detect new threats and monitor old ones. It will put a hole in that safety net.

I wonder how many friends the president has left in the intelligence community now. I'd wager less than before.

You can see the buzz of bots all over twitter attempting to damage control this new Trump scandal. Ignore it. Fuck Podesta. Fuck Clinton. I'll make a deal with the MAGAs right now:

You can lock Clinton and Podesta up if we can lock Trump up. Two for one. How about it?

And you have to stop acting like you give half a fuck about Seth Rich. You're just using a dead man as a prop for your agenda and it's pretty disgusting.

But, seriously, who's fooled by the "What about Clinton!?" shtick anymore?

Do better, Russia.