I never pictured myself here.
Blogs are pathetic, really. Just an exercise in impotent rage. People screaming into the void. A vain attempt to gain attention by people who think they have a unique and interesting perspective. My blog isn't going to change the world.
So why bother?
The answer came at me like a ton of bricks. It fell on me and pinned me to the spot in which I now lay. It anchors me here, in this place, where there is but one course of action.
Because it's something. Because if I can even change one mind, educate one person, reach one kindred spirit, then this is all completely worth it.
Because it soothes me in a way that few things do.
Because they have blogs, too.
By they, I mean these Alt-Right nutjobs that are constantly hounding me and others on all forms of social media. When they aren't sending me death threats, calling me "Afrocentric", or a "black nationalist", or just a nigger, they're attempting to create false narratives about me and my intentions. If someone attacks me and I retaliate they call me violent. If I threaten those that threaten me they say that I'm making threats about nothing. They knowingly spread lies about me and people that look like me to further their agenda and their agenda, make no mistake, is our destruction.
I will never sit quietly and passively while people attempt to destroy me. Be it with words or with weapons. I will always fight back. I will always stand tall against tyranny. I haven't come this far to be silenced by a bunch of angry white men with inferiority complexes. I didn't risk my life in combat to surrender to threats. I didn't watch my friends die for rights that I am willing to relinquish. The more I am told to shut up the louder I will shout.
If you're reading this and you feel the way that I feel then you are my brother. I don't care about your color. I don't care about your religion. I don't care about your geographical location, your sexual orientation, your political affiliation, or your gender identification.
Some people think that I hate Trump voters. I don't. If you are a Trump voter, though, then you should understand a few things. Donald Trump ran on a platform of racism, prejudice, misogyny, xenophobia, and lies. By voting for this you have proven that you do not care about your president saying and doing the things that he says and does. You're telling me that it doesn't matter if he lies to you about any and everything. Otherwise, you wouldn't have voted for him. You have accepted all that he is and decided that those things are ok. I don't know how to reconcile that. I don't know how to be a friend to someone that accepts those things from anyone, let alone from the leader of their country. If you're white and you voted for him that tells me that you care more about Hillary Clinton's emails than you do about my welfare in this country as a brown person.
When he comes for the undocumented and the Muslims all brown people will be under a microscope. You may not see this as a real fear but I cannot afford to dismiss it when it is a clear possibility. Ask the Jews how that works out. Or the Armenians. Or the Japanese. Ask the Cambodians that watched the rise of the Khmer Rouge or the Russians that witnessed the rise of Lenin and then Stalin. You may think I'm being paranoid. The reason you think that is simple; You don't have to worry about it so you don't care. If you're white and an American citizen they may never come for you. You won't listen to me NOW. Will you listen when they come for me? How can I trust you to? Why would I?
I understand that you're scared of Muslims and Mexicans. You disregard the fact that you're more likely to be killed by a white terrorist than a brown one, more likely to be killed by a cop than a Jihadi, more likely to kill a cop as a white man. You ignore the good in each group and exaggerate the bad while simultaneously dismissing the hate groups growing in strength within your own communities and among your own race. Black people are responsible for all other black people while white people take no responsibility for other whites. If a white man screams nigger and hits me in my face on the street "moderate" whites will tell me that he doesn't represent all other white people. If a black man does the same to a white man it will trend on twitter and/or be reported on Breitbart as an example of the violent savagery of the black man. You do this with a complete lack of self awareness. Then you will want to be my friend. Then you will call yourself my ally.
If you do not stand up for me against the people that attack me you are not my friend. If you do not speak up for me when people put me down then you are not my ally. If you do not respect me enough to acknowledge and understand the things in the world that I worry about then you are not my brother.
Right now I can't afford to figure out people's intentions. You're either with me or against me.
I'm not threatening you with violence. Please understand that. This is America, after all, and Americans do not physically attack those with opposing views. Well, not other Americans with opposing views, anyway. The very essence of my fear is that this seems to be changing right before my eyes. I never received death threats for arguing about Obama and Romney. I've never been called a stupid nigger just for admitting to being a liberal. Before this election I was working on poems and short stories. I was thinking about writing a book for my children. Now, I'm blogging anonymously about hate crimes and racism. Anonymously because I fear for the safety of my children.
An American should not have to worry about retaliation against his family for his political views. Yet, I do. I was told not long ago that I should stop arguing and blogging "for the sake of my children and old people.". When I refused I was then told that I "must have a death wish like they do, then.".
What the actual fuck, America?
So, here I am. I will keep writing. I will keep disagreeing. I will continue to be a dissident. I will continue to work towards achieving my political goals and making America SAFE again for myself, my children, and all other people of color. I will not bow to threats nor yield to pressure. I will not sit down. I will not be quiet.
If I should die in the service of this goal then so be it.
Drape a flag on my coffin and bury me a patriot.
No comments:
Post a Comment