Thursday, August 24, 2017

Our girl - A Taylor Swift parody.

"It's done, Taylor." Joe said from the doorway.

She stopped typing and half turned, her profile backlit by three large monitors and underlit by the red glow of her keyboard, and smiled. Even bathed in the darkness of her sanctum the gesture seemed to brighten the room. Lately, for reasons unknown to Joe, it had begun to send a shiver down his spine. He felt that chill now.

"Good." She said quietly. She seemed about to speak again but then turned back to her computer.

"Why are you doing that?" He asked her again. He didn't know how many times he'd asked anymore.

"You know why." She spat, impatiently.

"It doesn't make any sense!"

"How are you from Anglo stock and you're this fucking dumb? Are you sure there's no nog blood in the-"

"I'm not-"

"Don't you fucking dare interrupt me." The words came out in a dangerous hiss. The argument was an old one, an almost daily occurrence for the last few weeks, and Joe sensed that he might be the next subject of a hot pop track.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly. The wounded look on his face enraged Taylor but there was nothing he could do about it. When she cut him it was always so deep. She'd learned a family rumor about an ancestor of his that might have been of color. No one else in the family much cared but Taylor had been very upset. She'd been trying to get him to take a DNA test to determine his ancestry. He'd so far refused but she was wearing him down.

"Look." She said, rising from her chair, and coming to him. "I don't want to fight. Just let me have this, ok? It's happening!"

"But I don't know what IT even is?!"

"Shhh." She threw her arms around him and he hugged her back fiercely. "Redpills don't work unless you're ready, my love." She whispered up into his ear.

He was more confused than before but said nothing. Her body was warm. Her lips brushed his neck lightly and goosebumps broke out across his skin.

"Everything is perfect. Be happy." She whispered. He looked down at her monitors and shook his head.

"What are they saying?" He asked in a tone that implied that he didn't really want to know the answer.

"They're loving it." She laughed. "One of them is already telling everyone that I'm obviously based and my single is about the Zog."

"I wish you wouldn't..."

"Oh REEEEEEEEEEEEE! I said a bad word! Fuck off then, 'sperg." She pushed away from him dismissively then and returned to her desk.

"Fine. Whatever." Joe turned to leave but she stopped him with a single softly spoken word.

"Baby?" She called innocently.

"Yes baby?" He replied, his words dripping with hope.

"Tendies?" She asked sweetly, batting her eyes.

His heart shattered. He felt that he might sink into the floor, so rubbery were his legs and so broken was his spirit.

"Yes, baby." It was all he could muster and he said it to her back. She was already typing steadily again. He turned and left the room without another word.

"Cuck." Taylor whispered with a smile. For some, the redpill is just too hard to swallow. Not for long, Taylor thought. Soon she would redpill them all. She had to. She was their girl.

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