0000 hours.
September 8th, 1996.
Beneath the Las Vegas strip.
The faint sound of sirens drifted down to him from above. Even down here, in the dark, he could hear the chaos that he'd created. The crisis actors they'd employed were right now screaming to the police about the murder they had just witnessed. Hundreds of them. A fake homeless man was telling an LVPD detective about where he'd been when the shooting had started. Two women, planted to portray groupies on the way to the club, were being interveiwed by another about the chase and shoot out that they'd been caught in the midst of. A group of four KBG agents, disguised as South Side crip gang members from LA, lurked nearby in order to be spotted at the scene. Below it all agent Oleg Abram Romanoff smiled to himself with great satisfaction. After ten long years undercover he was finally able to return home. He longed to shed this identity and be himself again. Still, he would miss it.
It was a lot of fun being Tupac.
1427 hours.
May 23rd, 1985.
Leningrad, Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.
He'd been a very youthful looking seventeen years old when the operation had started. He'd been finishing his eleventh year at St. Petersburg High School 281. On an unremarkable Thursday afternoon he'd been summoned via the loudspeaker from his English class to the principal's office. When he'd arrived he'd found the room occupied not by his principal, Kira Petrovna Gribanovskaya, but by a severe young man in an expensive tailored suit. He was reclined in her chair with his feet on her desk.
"Sit down, Oleg." He ordered him. And sit he did. "Why are you here?"
"You sent for me." He responded simply.
"Ah. Indeed." The man nodded approvingly. "But I do not mean in this room. Why are you here? Why are you in this place?"
"I am here to learn."
"To learn what, exactly?" The man asked with a smile.
"I am currently taking English, Latin, Russian military history with an-"
"No. Stop. This is not what I mean either." He interrupted.
Oleg was puzzled. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"I know. We will change all of this." Smiling again. He removed his feet from the desk and leaned forward. "I want to know why you are wasting your time in this school reading books you have already read and answering questions you already know the answers to instead of being of use."
"I suppose... I suppose I just haven't found my next step." Oleg admitted reluctantly.
"Yes!" He shouted as he slammed his palms down on the desk. "This is what I suspected! You have not yet found a purpose! Is this not so?"
"Yes. It is so."
"Of course. As I said." The man stood, rounded the desk, and leaned on the front edge of it. Standing between it and Oleg he took a more intimate tone. "Oleg, what if I told you that I could make you one of the biggest stars that the world has ever seen? That your unfortunate skin condition could be your greatest asset?"
Oleg didn't have a "skin condition". Oleg was black. Still, in Russia it was almost accepted that being black was a disability. Luckily for Oleg, he'd been the smartest person in every room he'd ever stepped into since he could walk. At this moment, however, he was not so sure. A million questions swirled around his head. He asked none of them. "I'd ask you where to sign." He said instead.
The man roared with laughter. "Fantastic!" He bellowed, taking Oleg's hand into his own and shaking it, and Oleg, vigorously. "You are doing a great thing for your country. For the world."
"I want nothing more..." He let the last word hang and the man picked up immediately on the implied question.
"Yes, of course. My name." He grinned from ear to ear and reached into his jacket. "My name is Vlad. I will be your handler for this entire operation." From his coat he produced a Walkman.
"Is that... Is that a Sony?!" Oleg asked, impressed despite himself.
"Yes. It's for you, Oleg." He handed Oleg the coveted object. "But more important than the Walkman is the tape inside it. Press play."
Oleg placed the headphones on his ears and hit the play button. From the tiny speakers blared music that he'd never heard the like of before. There was rock guitars, heavy drums, keyboards, and all manner of strange instruments that he couldn't place. Over all of it, in time with the beat, was heavily American accented talking.
"What is this?" Oleg asked, yelling over the music that only he could hear. Vlad laughed and pulled the headphones gently from his ears.
"Run DMC." Vlad said.
"Run what?"
"It's called Hip Hop, Oleg." He said, laughing. "It's going to change the world. And you're going to help."
Vlad grabbed him by his shoulders and lifted him to his feet so that they were face to face and eye to eye.
"I am going to make you the biggest rapper that ever lived, Oleg. I'm going to make you a legend. I'm going to put all eyes on you." He turned back to the desk, plucked his hat from it's surface, and put it on. "Come on, my boy. It's time we make some changes."
Showing posts with label twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twitter. Show all posts
Sunday, September 3, 2017
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Blogging amidst this madness.
I'll be honest; I can't keep up.
If the goal of the Trump regime is to confuse and fatigue spectators into silence then it may well be working. At least on me.
I'm learning so much about our political system each day, which is nice, but the lesson I keep learning is that the president can pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants. I bet Obama is kicking himself for being so conservative with his use of power. Trump gives zero fucks about ethics, optics, conflicts, politics... It's like we made the Joker the president. He's a dog chasing cars. He just does things.
But is there light at the end of this dank, dark tunnel? Lots of people say yes. The rumors rumbling through the twittersphere, and elsewhere, whisper "Grand jury" or "Sealed indictment" urgently. I want to believe... But I've been hurt before.
All the while, the tweets! The tweets!
It's a fitting future, really. That we would have a Nixonian scandal live tweeted from a dark corner somewhere in the White House.
"Where's the president?"
"I don't know. He gave me the slip again. Is he in Ivanka's room?"
"Negative. He's tweeting. HE'S TWEETING!"
"All agents, be advised. We have a Code Brown on Tweety Bird! I say again, Code Brown! Check all the bathrooms and closets! This is not a drill!"
It'd be a whole lot funnier if it wasn't a thing that probably has happened and does happen. This fucking guy is an embarrassment. An absolute disgrace.
If the goal of the Trump regime is to confuse and fatigue spectators into silence then it may well be working. At least on me.
I'm learning so much about our political system each day, which is nice, but the lesson I keep learning is that the president can pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants. I bet Obama is kicking himself for being so conservative with his use of power. Trump gives zero fucks about ethics, optics, conflicts, politics... It's like we made the Joker the president. He's a dog chasing cars. He just does things.
But is there light at the end of this dank, dark tunnel? Lots of people say yes. The rumors rumbling through the twittersphere, and elsewhere, whisper "Grand jury" or "Sealed indictment" urgently. I want to believe... But I've been hurt before.
All the while, the tweets! The tweets!
It's a fitting future, really. That we would have a Nixonian scandal live tweeted from a dark corner somewhere in the White House.
"Where's the president?"
"I don't know. He gave me the slip again. Is he in Ivanka's room?"
"Negative. He's tweeting. HE'S TWEETING!"
"All agents, be advised. We have a Code Brown on Tweety Bird! I say again, Code Brown! Check all the bathrooms and closets! This is not a drill!"
It'd be a whole lot funnier if it wasn't a thing that probably has happened and does happen. This fucking guy is an embarrassment. An absolute disgrace.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Trump - Conning the media again.
Wow, that Syria distraction sure was effective.
Call Putin and warn him. Putin warns Assad. They clear the airfield, let the Tomahawks make some noise and move some dirt around, and get back to work on their still completely functional runway.
The most obvious of political pantomimes.
Meanwhile...
And this is the real story. North Korea is looking like a likely target more and more. Trump wants to start a war to save his presidency. He's going to use it to consolidate his power. "We don't have time to investigate this Russia nonsense!" They'll say, "We're at war!".
And North Korea is playing right into it.
"North Korea says a US missile strike on Syria "proves a million times over" that it was right to strengthen its nuclear programme, state media report."
North Korea has WMDs and it's dictator is breaking our sanctions. We have to act, they say, before he starts randomly shooting off missiles at other sovereign nations. How do you do this the day after firing 59 missiles at another sovereign nation with a straight face? Missiles that he fired, by the way, while he was meeting with the Chinese President. He told him that shit at dinner. I'm sure that's just a coincidence, though.
So instead of sitting down at the table with North Korea, which is really all that lil' Kim wants from us, we are going to attack them. Trump has drawn the line for China, his aggression towards North Korea is evident, his forces are moving into place, and he is exactly the kind of nutcase that would start a war to save a presidency.
And the media will fall for it. Just as those "beautiful" missiles distracted idiot talking heads with bright lights and loud noises so too will this impending North Korean conflict. They'll forget all about Russia and go into 24 hour news war mode. We'll all be far too busy watching night vision videos of rockets bursting in air to worry about the Russians' compromising our entire government. We need to be keeping our eyes on the ball and they're going to be distracting us with shiny things. These are the times that CNN and their ilk are bad for America.
Call Putin and warn him. Putin warns Assad. They clear the airfield, let the Tomahawks make some noise and move some dirt around, and get back to work on their still completely functional runway.
"Hey, Putie! We're going to bomb an airfield to distract people from my terrible presidency, Sad! Don't tell Bashar, ok?!" pic.twitter.com/uCkYhqPjR3— Heysoos X Thompson (@GrafHeysoos) April 8, 2017
"Everything you tell Putie is strictly between us, Donny. You know that! I love you." pic.twitter.com/7aITvT2sng— Heysoos X Thompson (@GrafHeysoos) April 8, 2017
The most obvious of political pantomimes.
Meanwhile...
Pay no attention to Trump's expensive desert distraction, North Korea is where it's going down.#ImpeachTrump https://t.co/gOXanZFg1R— Heysoos X Thompson (@GrafHeysoos) April 9, 2017
And this is the real story. North Korea is looking like a likely target more and more. Trump wants to start a war to save his presidency. He's going to use it to consolidate his power. "We don't have time to investigate this Russia nonsense!" They'll say, "We're at war!".
And North Korea is playing right into it.
"North Korea says a US missile strike on Syria "proves a million times over" that it was right to strengthen its nuclear programme, state media report."
North Korea has WMDs and it's dictator is breaking our sanctions. We have to act, they say, before he starts randomly shooting off missiles at other sovereign nations. How do you do this the day after firing 59 missiles at another sovereign nation with a straight face? Missiles that he fired, by the way, while he was meeting with the Chinese President. He told him that shit at dinner. I'm sure that's just a coincidence, though.
So instead of sitting down at the table with North Korea, which is really all that lil' Kim wants from us, we are going to attack them. Trump has drawn the line for China, his aggression towards North Korea is evident, his forces are moving into place, and he is exactly the kind of nutcase that would start a war to save a presidency.
And the media will fall for it. Just as those "beautiful" missiles distracted idiot talking heads with bright lights and loud noises so too will this impending North Korean conflict. They'll forget all about Russia and go into 24 hour news war mode. We'll all be far too busy watching night vision videos of rockets bursting in air to worry about the Russians' compromising our entire government. We need to be keeping our eyes on the ball and they're going to be distracting us with shiny things. These are the times that CNN and their ilk are bad for America.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
No Strings.
"No,
puppet! It is not time to dance!" President Putin screamed at his
television set.
He
turned to me, beseechingly, and said "He's fucking doing it
again. Every time he fucks our shit up."
This
has been the life of President Vladimir Putin since Donald Trump has taken
office.
"When
we first made plans to make him president we thought it would just be
nonstop luls. I mean, President Trump. Rekt, America. Rekt."
Far from buoyant however, a tired President Putin confided in me that "Trump won't stick to the
script. Directing him is an absolute nightmare. He is the worst.
Seriously, how hard is it to stay off of the twitter?"
Usually
a meticulously groomed and imposing man, today's President Putin was decidedly
less impressive. For the short time that he has granted this reporter
access he has been in pajama pants and a Motley Crew T-shirt. It's
been eighteen hours so far. We were scheduled for an hour but when I
arrived for the interview he waved me into his suite , saying "Fuck
it. He's ruined everything anyway.", and pouring himself a
coffee mug of vodka. Rather than let me leave he's making me write the article right here so that he can read it.
"Honestly,
all he was supposed to do was beat Hillary. We were hoping for some
deals afterwards, sure, but that wasn't the payoff. I just don't like
Hillary. I winked at her once and she flipped me your bird when no
one was looking. Fuck Hillary. Also, Obama got all up in my face and
there's that picture that makes me look like a bitch. Did you think
Vladimir would not get his get back?" He laughed heartily at
that, exclaiming "I'm motherfucking KGB, bitch."
"Look
at this shit!" He said, stabbing a finger at the CNN anchor's
face, "He reads OUR fucking propaganda, believes it, and then
tweets it when his handler isn't looking! Now everyone is talking
about our fake bullshit news story. It was only meant for the
idiots!"
He
stopped abruptly then, regarded me sharply, and said "Let me see what
you've written."
After reading this draft the President seems slightly subdued but he's a very hard man to read. He's asked me to join him for tea after he changes in the other room. Perhaps when he returns we can get to the original topic for my interview, Top 10 Pimpin' Places President Putin Parties.
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